Follow these links to recent articles Rabbi Orenstein has written:
Learik Bivracha, by Rabbi Debra Orenstein
Meditations
to Help Prepare for The New Year.
The following include meditations for each day of the month
of Elul to help your spiritual preparations for the Days of Awe:
Meditations on the Viddui Prayer,
by Rabbi Debra Orenstein
Meditations on Shofar,
by Michael Chusid
The Jewish Rites of Death and Mourning
The
Heart of Time
http://www.jewishjournal.com/home/searchview.php?id=13286
Blessings Over Curses http://www.jewishjournal.com/home/searchview.php?id=11023
Lessons of the Season http://www.jewishjournal.com/home/searchview.php?id=11753
Can Purity Last? http://www.jewishjournal.com/home/searchview.php?id=12108
Spying the Future http://www.jewishjournal.com/home/searchview.php?id=12404
Ready for Judgment? http://www.jewishjournal.com/home/searchview.php?id=12663
Steps to Achieve Teshuvah
Shabbat Candlelighting Meditation
Why Keep Kosher? Parshat Shemini (Leviticus 9:1-11:47) http://www.jewishjournal.com/home/searchview.php?id=10282
Holy Boundaries Ahre Mot (Leviticus 16:1-18:30) http://www.jewishjournal.com/home/searchview.php?id=10437
Righteous Indignation Parshat Pinchas (Numbers 25:1-30:1) http://www.jewishjournal.com/home/searchview.php?id=10812
A
Reminder and Checklist from Rabbi Debra Orenstein
Maimonides describes five basic steps to repentance (teshuvah).
1.
Feel guilt over the wrong you committed. Fully acknowledge your role and
your blame, and allow yourself to be overcome with remorse.
2.
Acknowledge the wrong out loud. Apologize sincerely and completely to
anyone affected. (Hint: the word "but" should not be included
in such an apology. "I know I did wrong, but..." "but you
have to understand..." but you did some things, too..." all
undermine your request for forgiveness.) You must try to apologize at
least three times. If a sincere apology is refused three times, the sin
rests with the one who will not forgive. However, there is no limit to
the requirement for seeking forgiveness from a parent or teacher.
3.
Make compensation to whatever degree possible. You can't always make things
right or set a relationship back to its original level of trust, but there
is something you can do. Ask the wronged party or parties what would help
them to feel whole - and then follow through.
4.
Vow never to repeat this wrong. You know the difference between a sincere
commitment and lip service. Take a vow only when you are really ready
to give your heart and your word. This means you must think profoundly
about what led to the wrong you committed and what you will do to make
sure that you are better equipped to act differently now.
5.
Face the same or a similar situation, but do things differently. The ultimate
fulfillment of repentance is having the chance to repeat a sin and making
a new choice.
If at any point you revert back to committing the same wrong, simply return
to step one and work through the steps again. Once you complete the steps
for a given issue, repentance is complete and guilt is erased. Let go
of the past, and celebrate your success!
The
Shabbat candlelighting meditation on this
website offers a weekly meditation that helps with the other side of the
teshuvah challenge: forgiving those who have hurt you.
My prayers are with you as you embark on the difficult and rewarding work
of forgiveness and repentance.
Shabbat Candlelighting Meditation
by Rabbi Debra Orenstein
It is customary to bring in your hands three times before lighting, as a way of “gathering” Shabbes light. For this meditation, you bring in the hands very slowly, and pause after each of the three gestures. This is based on technios, Yiddish women’s candlelighting prayers, and was taught to be by my grandmother.
After bringing your hands in the first time — Imagine in your mind’s eye, one by one, the faces of the people you hold dearest. See each face, and surround it with Shabbat light. Imagine that the light is surrounding them with love, healing and protection. My grandmother used to go in the order of the generations—from grandparents to grandchildren—calling to mind each member of the immediate family, whether alive or deceased.
After bringing your hands in the second time — Imagine in your mind’s eye, one by one, faces of people you know and have encountered this week—friends, acquaintances, a store clerk who helped you, someone you bumped into or met for the first time. See each face, and surround it with Shabbat light. You don’t have to plan whom you’ll bless. Just let the faces come up, and surround them with Sabbath light. Imagine that the light is bringing them love, healing and protection.
After bringing your hands in the third time — Imagine in your mind’s eye, one by one, faces of people against whom you hold some anger or unforgiveness. Focus on one person at a time. Gently, as much as you can, surround them with Shabbat light. Imagine that the light is surrounding them with love, healing and protection. If you find yourself resisting doing this, due to some resentment or withholding on your part, imagine what they would be like, and how they would treat you, if they were healed from all their troubles. Then, wish them healed, to the extent that you can. You haven’t “flunked” if you’re unable to do it wholeheartedly. Simply continue doing this practice from week to week as best you can. Over time, it will have the effect of opening your heart, and you will be able to bless people more and more each week. I have found that this meditation can and does help people transform their relationships. If and when you have trouble surrounding the people who have hurt you with Shabbat light, try these tactics:
1.
Ask yourself: What were their parents like? What did they have to go through?
2.
Ask yourself: What are the ways in which I am just like them?
3. Imagine the Shabbat candles on a table in the center of a beautiful room, with the offending person(s) standing at the doorway. In your meditation, observe the light draw them in.
A Teaching from Rabbi Nachman of Bratzlav in Support of the Meditation
On Shabbat everyone is judged favorably. Shabbat is a time when all harsh judgments are overturned. Accordingly, the good point (nekudah tova) which is to be found in every[one], even those who are evil, shines forth on Shabbat. The Zohar Chadash Bereishit tells us that “there is no such thing as a sinner who does not have good deeds which elevate him to the World to Come. When do they elevate him? On Shabbat. Thus are all crowned with the crown of Shabbat.” In the same way, the Rabbis commented on the verse in Song of Songs 1:5: “I am black [this applies to the weekdays] and comely [on Shabbat]” (Shir Hashirim Rabbah). The good point shines forth on Shabbat. Thus on Shabbat everyone is judged in the scale of merit [giving them the benefit of the doubt] and through this people genuinely move into the scale of merit and are able to return to God in true repentance—teshuvah. That is why Shabbat (sh. b. t.) includes the concept of teshuvah (t. sh. u. b. h). Accordingly, the Sages said, “One who observes Shabbat is forgiven their sins” (Shabbat 118b). This accounts for the great joy of Shabbat.— Kedushat Shabbat 282
